Why you are still single as a christain..
- Because you are set in your ways
“I don’t do dates in the week, I’ve got to go to the gym, I have this class etc etc”. It’s good to have a routine but if you are not flexible from time to time and are set in your ways don’t expect the world to revolve around you.
- Because it’s your way or the highway
Similar to number 1, there is no one set way to go about dating. However if you are set in your ways that it must go according to how you planned it, you must go on 3 dates, they must meet your parents before you court etc etc this could also hinder your progress.
- You dismiss possibilities too quickly
You have one disagreement or fall out with a potential and you rule them out completely. Yet disagreements are part of the package of any relationship. So your lack of ability to see the good over the bad again could be a problem.
- You overlook those around you
‘They are a brother, they are a sister’, stop that nonsense!
- You don’t know you are looking for perfection
“They have got to have dark hair, they have to be taller than me in heels, they are a day younger than me.” These are all preferences which there is nothing wrong in desiring. But they should be optional extras not a must as long as the fundamentals are in place e.g. attraction, character. Swag doesn’t pay the bills and curves doesn’t determine her parenting abilities.
- Your brand is deceiving
We know not to judge a book by it’s cover, but the sad reality is people do. In the same way first impressions count. If your social media is full of images, media and rants that give the impression that you are not modest, a lads lad, contradict your beliefs and the like people will carry that impression until they get the opportunity to know different. The same also applies with your status. If it is not clear from your images that you are single, or your profile says ‘married or engaged’ when you are not, you may be scaring some away, but in that some may be the ones you ought not to.
- You like too many people too quickly
One day you like Mike, next week it’s John. Was your interest in Mike genuine? Or do you flee once you know there’s no mutual interest? One day it’s Lisa, the next it’s Lisa’s friend from church or work. Ain’t nobody takin you serious!!
- You think the worse of everything and everyone concerning relationships
Stop treating men and women based on your unfortunate experiences. Stop taking everything to heart, being over sensitive, carrying a chip on your shoulder. Get over the past before your past becomes your future as a result of painting everyone with one brush.
- Because you prefer to gossip about what’s going on with other people and their potential dates or interests.
#SNM (that’s ‘say no more’ if you didn’t know).
- Because you expect the perfect approach
Women be like ‘he should do a,b,c it’s in the bible, it’s traditional’. Then they’ll say something like ‘he must have game.’ But when you remind them that the latter is not biblical they don’t want to know. Too many men and women are set in their beliefs as well as their ways. The guy may not have ‘game’ and this is not a game!! He or she may stutter, stumble, or be nervous. There’s nothing wrong with helping someone bring about clarity of their thoughts. Don’t always expect a perfect opening ceremony to start your interest!
- You think you are out of someone’s league
You think that guy or girl is too good for you. Yet you pray for the best. What’s that about??! ’A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.’ – James 1:8.
- You don’t know how to relate and communicate wellwith others
Learn to socialise, start conversation, take a general interest in someone’s well being. Don’t always wait to be contacted before you initiate checking up on someone, catching up with someone or even arranging a get together. Don’t be too lazy to get out and meet people if you want to find or be found.
- Because you are looking for what you want, not what you need.
By this I am not suggesting that you cannot have what you desire. What I am suggesting is that people will overlook a guy or girl who will put them in place, who will challenge them, push them, not tolerate nonsense for their own good. They will overlook such a person so they can be with someone who will allow them to do what they want rather than be with someone who will help them become a better person.
- Because you are waiting for your friends to approve of their attractiveness.
Be with someone you find attractive irrespective of who doesn’t. As long as you do what else matters?? It’s not your friends that will be marrying them is it? In fact it may be a good thing if your friends don’t find them attractive. No drama!