why africans insist on getting their future daughter inlaw pregnant before giving their consent for marriage


since God is against premarital sex then he will definitely be against a pregnancy that results from it but why do people insist especially Africans?

1.To ascertain the fertility status of the
wife-to-be due to fear that the young
wife may not conceive after wedding
2.Fear that evil forces or people who
may witness the lavish wedding may
want to hinder the young wife from
getting pregnant
3.Fear that the young wife may have lost
her womb due to her past (real or
imaginary) escapades.
4.To ascertain the competence of the
wife-to-be to satisfy her husband
There are many lies that people tell when
you ask them why do you want me to
get pregnant before wedding?’’. Some of
which are;
1.It is an African thing
2.To protect the young couple from
Friends, these lies are from the pit of
hell. They do not hold water. It is not an
African thing to get pregnant before
marriage. I know of the Yoruba and the
Igbo (of the South and Eastern part of
Nigeria) cultures of old where families
are celebrated when their daughter was
‘met’ at home. ‘Met’ at home means she
is a virgin. These cultures and traditions
of old encourages morality and uphold
purity before marriage. Although it will
be inaccurate to say these traditions and
customs of old among these tribes in
Nigeria no longer holdsway, rather I
think it is more of family upbringing and
individual re-birth as children raised
from those families where purity before
marriage is emphasised. It is not an
African thing to get pregnant before
Also, you would observe that all the 4
points listed above have one common
underlying factor which is FEAR. I often
say to those I counsel, especially
Christians, that fear and faith cannot co-
mingle. You cannot operate in fear and
expect that your faith will grow. No
wonder the Bible says you cannot serve
God and mammon.
Am I saying principalities and powers
don’t exist? Yes, they do exist, but unto
whom you yield yourself you are a
servant thereof is what the Scripture
says. If you are Born Again and Spirit
filled, there is no enchantment against
you nor divination from hell that will
work against your marital fulfillment in
Jesus Mighty Name. For as long as you
remain even with your Maker, God that
you serve and worship has a
responsibility to protect you and your
spouse. And He is too loving to be
irresponsible in discharging His duties
towards us as His children. So, I say to
Jesus said;
“No one can serve two masters; for either
he will hate the one and love the other,
or else he will be loyal to the one and
despise the other. You cannot serve God
and mammon’’
Mathew 6 Vs 24, Luke 16 Vs 13
Jesus said further;
“And do not fear those who kill the body
but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear
Him who is able to destroy both soul
and body in hell’’Mathew 10 Vs 28
Even Paul wrote to Timothy saying;
‘’For God has not given us a spirit of
fear, but of power and of love and of a
sound mind’’
2 Timothy 1 Vs 7
Fear will put you in bondage. Fear will
make you break the laws of God and that
of man. Fear will not do you any good
but will ensure your faith if stunted and
demobilised. Nobody can be an effective
believer while operating in fear!
If it is true that fear is the reason people
insist on pregnancy before marriage,
does it mean you have no fear of
miscarriage after wedding? Does it mean
once you take in before marriage the evil
ones can no longer afflict you? Does it
mean every woman who take in can
sustain the pregnancy up till 9 months?
I know a lady who I learnt got wedded
with pregnancy but lost the pregnancy
shortly after marriage and more than 10
years after, she is yet to conceive again.
See, you got to make up your mind to go
on with God alone all the way. Those
who go on with God all the way never
looses and will never ever loose!
In 2011, I wrote a Book by the title THIS
TIME SHALL PASS and I did enumerate
the causes of delay in the fruit of the
womb and suggested many solutions
that people can be guided by. I have
received testimonies upon testimonies
on it. You can get the book at CRM
CAMP, Lagos Ibadan Expressway or
Latter Rain Assembly Boookshop, plot 4
Akilo Road, Ogba or Book Affairs, suite
28 POWA Shops opposite MKO garden
Alausa, Ikeja.
There are many reasons why couples
encounter delay in the fruit of the womb
and many of the time people think the
woman is the cause. I often wonder why
people don’t look at it holistically that it
takes two for pregnancy to occur. My
personal doctor who is a general
practitioner and a consultant
gynecologist once told me that for
majority of couples who are yet to
conceive, the problem lies with their
husbands. He said experience has shown
to him that when they conduct all test
you find that the woman is okay. When
they ask the man to come some begin to
dodge and often times when they submit
themselves to the rigours of test, it is
often proven that the man is the cause
of the delay in conception. So, if you are
trying to impregnate your fiancee and
you are actually inadequate to
impregnate her, how will you achieve
your aim?
1.Involve your Pastors if you worship in
a Bible believing church and let them
intervene by counselling the person or
people insisting on pregnancy before
2.Pray to God about this because you
cannot build a good and lasting thing
like marriage on a faulty foundation. Sex
before marriage is building marriage on
sand rather than on Christ the Solid
Interestingly before the programme was
over that Sunday, someone sent in a text
to lament that she has a 3 year old son
that her fiance has not been taking care
of. They were supposed to wed after she
took in but here she is 3 years after
nothing has happened. So, there is no
guarantee that your fiance will marry you
even after you conceived and delivered
your baby. Unfortunately, you will be
increasing the population of single
mothers outside of wedlock! Those who
have attempted to use pregnancy to trap
their men into marriage can share their
tons of tales of woe and you need not be
part of the number!!
Friends, Jesus said;
‘’Behold, I give you the authority to
trample on serpents and scorpions, and
over all the power of the enemy, and
nothing shall by any means hurt
you’’Luke 10 Vs 19
Do you have authority to trample on
serpents and scorpions and over all the
power of the enemy? Except you are
Born Again, you have no right to use the
authority of the Name of Jesus, of His
Word and of His Blood.
Why do you think God created the
marriage institution? Why do you think
He who created the institution will watch
you go barren? Do you even know God is
also a stakeholder in every marriage,
that He wants us to be fruitful? Do you
know God has our interest at heart? Do
you know God does not give anything
good and add sorrow to it? Do you know
God is a loving and a caring Father and
that His thought towards us are thought
of peace, to give us a future and a hope?
Friends, what we do reflect largely our
knowledge of God and the extent of faith
and trust we have in Him and in His
If you are a true Christian, stop asking
your fiancee to take in before marriage.
It is not Biblical to do so. We know what
your values are and who you believe by
what you do or ask someone to do!
Still Yours in Matters of the Heart

Author: HandsomebeautyGarden

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