why women that are raped or sexually Abused find it difficult to fall in love/trust men again
Of the many ills in the society, sexual abuse
on women seems to be widespread. Sexual
abuse entails the forcing of undesired sexual
behavior by one person upon another.
Activities like unwanted touching or kissing,
unwanted rough or sexual activity, rape or
attempted rape, sexual contact with someone
who couldn’t give a clear or concise ‘yes’ or
‘no’ as a result of being drunk, drugged, or
unconscious and repeatedly pressuring
someone to have sex or perform sexual acts
all constitute sexual abuse.
Lots of women have been sexually violated
when they were younger and have carried this
hurt and pain into adulthood. While some talk
about it, others are too embarrassed to admit
the abuse and relate their experiences to other
people. They go through different emotional
thread ranging from shock, dismay, fear, panic
and finally anger. They work these into their
personalities and become extremely cautious
women who get edgy when interested men
approach them for healthy relationships.
Below are some reasons why sexually abused
women find it hard to love:
Dealing With Trust
One of the elements of love is trust. To be able
to love, these women have to give in to trust.
Sexually abused women who are far from
healing find it hard to trust their partners.
They might have been sexually abused by a
trusted person so it takes time for them to get
out of their protective shell. Insensitive men
may see them as unyielding.
Sexually abused women still find themselves
going through that ordeal again. Some of
them are traumatized and can’t sleep without
seeing the abuser hurt them afresh. They
dwell in the past and take time to understand
that someone could be genuinely interested in
This is the starting point of the abuse.
Sexually abused women may get extremely
nervous when it comes to sex as it affects
their sexual health. Their partners’ touch may
trigger memories and sensations of the
original abuse therefore causing interference
with pleasure. Men who don’t know about
their past may get tired of their continued
dissociation and opt out instead of helping
them separate rape from sex.
Inability to put the blame where it belongs
Sexually abused women tend to replay the
abuse scene over and over. They consider the
options of how things could have been done
differently. And sometimes wonder if the fault
was theirs or that of the rapists. They get
carried away with their emotional battles and
end up being bitter.
Fear of rejection after sharing
Most of the sexually abused women prefer to
have non-committal relationships. They are
afraid the men may view them differently after
sharing the part of their sexual abuse; so
most times they withdraw and avoid getting
too close to the men around them.