Ten ways of dealing with cheating in relationships :the healing process after an affair



Ten ways of dealing with cheating in relationships :the healing process

Cheating has led to the end of so many relationships and marriages because people find it difficult to forgive and move on with their life and relationships once infidelity is involved but the truth is that if you are willing to make the necesary sacrifices for your home, relationship, children…… Something can still be done. This post is not for everyone but if you partner has cheated on you and he or she has shown some remorse (and you are willing to sacrifice your pride and desire for revenge so that the relationship can go forward then you are at the right place because) Even broken hearts can be healed if the right steps are taken and some of the steps will be listed.
Cheating can unleash devastating
consequences on a couple and is oft-cited as
the ultimate deal breaker, beating out both
emotional unavailability and physical abuse.
Yet over half of married couples decide to
weather the damage together rather than split
up. Unfortunately, the healing process doesn’t
happen overnight, and even the most
committed couples can get waylaid by hurt
feelings, paralyzing guilt, and resentment.
1.
Honesty First
In the wake of discovering infidelity, Spring
asks the wronged party to detail their
grievances to their partner by articulating
an unsparing and emotionally raw
declaration. “It is vital that the hurt person
feels heard,” Spring emphasizes. “It’s easy
to feel crazy with grief, and they need to
understand that they have a language to
talk about their pain.”
2.
Bearing Witness
Just as importantly, the adulterous partner
must be prepared to face the heartache that
their infidelity has wrought. Many unfaithful
individuals feel paralyzed with guilt; they
see the affair as irreparable damage, and
mistakenly urge their partners to put the
pain behind them rather than take time to
grieve. Spring insists that the offender
“bear witness” to the pain they’ve caused
rather than defend or deflect the impact,
and pinpoints this willingness to take
responsibility as vital to the rebuilding of
trust.
3.
A Written Apology
After the adulterer has listened openly and
understandingly to their partner’s
declaration, Spring suggests that the
cheater paraphrase the account in their
own words. Spring then suggests that they
write out a detailed, specific letter to prove
they understand the sorrow they’ve caused.
And a miserly “I’m sorry” won’t cut it. “‘I’m
sorry’ goes about a quarter-inch deep,”
Spring says. “Verbal reassurances,
promising you won’t do it again, that
means nothing after cheating. They have to
prove they’ve heard and understood their
partner on the deepest level, and that
means citing very specific examples of how
they’ve hurt them and then taking actions
to prove they will not do so in the future.”
( similar posts to read a. Tips How to stop cheating in relationships
b. 5 reasons married men find it very difficult to
forgive a cheating spouse or woman

C. FIVE MAJOR CHEATING SIGNS IN
RELATIONSHIPS…

d. how to Stop cheating on your marriage partner )
4.
Avoid Cheap Forgiveness
Sometimes the desire to salvage the
relationship (and on the flip side, the fear
of losing a partner) overwhelms the
necessity to vent anger, and wronged
partners forgive before they’ve had a
chance to seethe. Spring calls this “cheap
forgiveness,” and finds this behavior in
spades among people who are more afraid
of being alone than staying with an
unfaithful partner. Not only do cheap
forgivers swindle themselves out of a
healthy grieving process, they set
themselves up for future infidelities by not
forcing their partners to understand their
pain.
5.
Sharing Responsibility
Even in relationships where only one person
has strayed, oftentimes both members bear
the blame for an affair. Spring
acknowledges that the unfaithful person
must own up to 100% of their guilt
(because “no one forces you to cheat”) but
the wronged party must also acknowledge
their own role in fostering an unhappy
union, however minuscule. The hurt person
must see how they had a hand in
facilitating the loneliness or isolation that
compelled their companion to have an
affair and take steps to ensure greater
emotional intimacy in the future.
http://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/10-steps-to-healing-a-relationship-after-an-affair/

Author: Handsomebeauty : Crime News. Entertainment and Relationships

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