Tips for dealing with anxiety


Tips for dealing with anxiety
   tips for dealing with anxiety

You can read all the anti-anxiety advice in the world, but none of this matters unless you take action. To feel more relaxed, to sleep soundly at night, and to put energy into what matters, you have to stop wasting time on tasks that don’t matter.
By the end of this article, your life could become infinitely more productive and Zen-like. Your part is to commit to 15-60 minutes per day and tackle a few of the following 22 anxiety busters below.
The more you commit, the better you’ll feel.
You’re probably familiar with some of these anxiety strategies. But if you experience racing thoughts, tightening in your chest, and shortness of breath, you haven’t done all of them.
Anxiety Buster #1: Start Deep-Breathing
If you’re not focused on how to calm your body through slow, intentional belly-breathing, you’re missing out. Belly-breathing is free, location independent, and easy to implement.
1. Sit with your eyes closed and turn your attention to your breathing. Breathe naturally, preferably through the nostrils, without attempting to control your breath.
2. Be aware of the sensation of the breath as it enters and leaves the nostrils. Place one hand on your belly, and the other on your chest. Take a deep breath for a count of four. Hold your breath for a count of three. Exhale for a count of four. The hand on your belly should go in as you inhale, and move out as you exhale.
3. Concentrate on your breath and forget everything else. Your mind will be very busy, and you may even feel that the meditation is making your mind busier, but the reality is you’re just becoming more aware of how busy your mind is.
4. Resist the temptation to follow the different thoughts as they arise, and focus on the sensation of the breath. If you discover that your mind has wandered and is following your thoughts, immediately return it to the breath.
5. Repeat this as many times as necessary until your mind settles on the breath.
Don’t wait to begin belly-breathing. The sooner you make this a daily habit, the quicker you’ll feel relaxed.
When you implement belly-breathing, you start the day in a here-and-now state. Better yet, you’re not wasting time worrying about the future, or reliving the past.
Anxiety Buster #2: Meditate instead of Medicate
Calm is an inside job. Give yourself the gift of serenity and start the day with ten minutes of solitude and positive energy. Think calm, measured and open-minded, and your daily activities will correspond.
Anxiety Buster #3: Practice Self-Care
Get a massage, a mani-pedi, or a haircut. Nothing says polished and well-maintained like a sexy, healthy glow.
If money is tight, look for a discount salon or a training school which offers quality services for people on a budget. So they don’t serve peppermint tea on a silver tray — close your eyes and imagine that five-star service while you take in the pampering you deserve.
Anxiety Buster #4: Eliminate Soda
That morning jolt of joe can jumpstart your day and provide warmth and comfort, but anything with high fructose corn syrup and 177 other ingredients will not.
If you’re accustomed to that 3:00 p.m. Dr. Pepper, switch it out for a soothing green tea. Not only does the caffeine jack up your central nervous system, soda depletes vitamins and minerals from your diet and wreaks havoc on your smile. Teeth become susceptible to cavities when the acid level of your saliva falls below a certain point.
If you drink soda all day, the outer layers of your teeth begin to lose minerals and cavities form. Many dental plans do not cover root canals + you’ll end with a huge bill. Speaking of which:
Anxiety Buster #5: Trim the Fat from Your Budget
Financial stress is a common reason people contact me for psychotherapy. Debt will keep you up at night and contribute to feelings of low
self-worth and hopelessness.
Take charge of your finances and stop spending on non-essentials.
Track your daily expenses for a week or two and decide where you can cut back. Notice the items you accumulate mindlessly.
Possible eliminators:
Switch out your cable TV for Netflix
Contact your car insurance carrier, your mobile device company, or your credit card company and ask if they’ll reduce your bill
Cancel your newspaper delivery during the week and opt for the Sunday paper, or an online service, instead
Anxiety Buster #6: Get Rid of the Clutter
Do you ever wonder how much time is lost when you can’t find your car keys, or that package of Epson 400 color ink?
Chances are you’ve got too much stuff clogging up your living space.
Try this quick organization hack:
1. Choose a drawer, cabinet or closet
2. Categorize the stuff you don’t use
3. Make three piles for a) Items to throw away, b) Items to donate, and c) Items to sell
Hold a yard sale and use the money to…
Anxiety Buster #7: Plan a Day Trip
When you spend time in nature, you give your mind and body a much needed break from the hustle and bustle which causes you to Google things like “How to get rid of anxiety” in the first place.
Chances are no matter where you live, there’s a serene, interesting and charming place within a couple hours.
Anxiety Buster #8: Go to Bed Early
This may sound impossible if you’re accustomed to staying up late to catch up on the To-Do list. But this one’s a MUST.
Sleep deprivation is a huge anxiety culprit. Inadequate shuteye can amplify the brain’s anticipatory reactions, upping overall anxiety levels, according to research.
“We all have anticipatory anxiety,” explains researcher Fugen Neziroglu. “Having moderate levels of anxiety about doing well is important. But it can be destructive when it begins to interfere with your life.” It’s impossible to have healthy emotional functioning without adequate sleep.
Don’t burn the midnight oil in hopes of catching up on the weekends. Unused sleep minutes don’t roll over.
Anxiety Buster #9 Wake up 15 Minutes Early
Like most anxious people, you’re probably rushing around in the morning and yelling at everyone in your wake, “Hurry up! We’re going to be late!”
Go slowly, and set yourself up for a relaxed day ahead. If you start to worry about the To-Do list, take a deep breath and think, There is enough time.
Anxiety Buster #10: Get Your Lavender On!
Lavender oil has many healing properties and can be used as a natural remedy to reduce anxiety and other nervous conditions. There are many ways to incorporate lavender into your calm tool kit:
1. Add essential lavender oil to your bath water for a calming bath. Use water infused with lavender leaves to soothe painful joints and muscles.
2. Fall asleep quicker when you add a few drops to a tissue and place under your pillow.
3. Use lavender in an oil diffuser to help with
insomnia. The sweet woody smell of the lavender oil helps you to fall asleep and stay asleep.
4. For headaches, apply lavender oil to a cotton ball or your fingertips and massage slowly into your temples. The smell will relax you as the oil eases your headache.
5. Lavender is used in aromatherapy massage as a muscle relaxant. Massage the oil into the skin and unknot the muscles of the back and reduce spasms.
6. Lavender can be used as an expectorant. It breaks up the mucous from nasal and chest congestion that accompanies a cold.
7. Inhale lavender oil to help with pain
management, especially after a workout, a therapy session, or surgery.
Anxiety Buster #11: Reduce Caffeine, Sugar and Processed Foods From Your Diet
Caffeine can cause heart palpitations if you ingest too much. Caffeine also can trigger panic or anxiety attacks, especially if you have an anxiety disorder. Hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar, can also cause palpitations.
Sugar acts as an adrenal stimulant and can cause anxiety or even panic attacks. Other offensive foods include those containing refined flour products, and even wheat since this causes inflammation.
Besides caffeine, and sugar, food allergies are a big contributing factor in your overactive central nervous system. Do this step along with #12…
Anxiety Buster #12: Go Green!
Diet affects anxiety. A morning glass of green juice can get you on the right side of calm.
For a different and delicious way to get your daily vegetables try this recipe: Combine one banana or green apple, a bunch of kale, sliced ginger, one lime, cucumber slices, a few ice cubes, and a cup of water to a blender or juicer. For added protein, add an egg, yogurt, nuts, or protein powder.
Anxiety Buster #13: Know that Feelings Are Not Facts
One of the hardest jobs of a psychotherapist is to convince your anxious client that the feelings of low self-worth, guilt and shame are not accurate. Negative thoughts cause negative feelings. This one’s tricky because many of our negative thoughts are automatic, deeply internalized, and rooted in the unconscious.
Do this in tandem with #14…
Anxiety Buster #14: Challenge Negative Core Beliefs
Remember that thoughts precede feelings. Negative thoughts lead to negative emotions, which lead to negative behaviors. For example:
Jocelyn wakes up and immediately thinks,
I’m gonna blow the PowerPoint presentation today. I just want to stay in bed all day
She feels unmotivated, nervous and sluggish
She yells at her kids when they don’t dress fast enough
How to challenge your negative mood:
1. Record your thoughts periodically. Pay attention to when you feel stressed out.
2. Write the feelings that accompany the thoughts. Think one-word responses like frustrated, angry, worthless and defeated, etc.
3. Challenge reality. This is hard because we tend to lack objectivity about the truth. Is there proof you don’t deserve that job promotion? Were you written up because of shoddy work performance?
If you commit to recording your daily thoughts and feelings, along with reality testing, you’ll see that many of your negative feelings are created in your mind, and not based in reality.
The good news is you created the negative thought, and you can uncreate it.
Anxiety Buster #15: Practice Gratitude
As bad as your situation is, there’s always someone in a worse predicament.
Read a chapter of Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, or check out the headline of the daily newspaper. Be thankful your life is not the feature story.
Make a mental note of the positive things in your life. Remember everything in life is temporary — the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Anxiety Buster #16: Get Some Accountability
If you’re BFF with Nervous Nellie or Anxious Allen, put your keyed-up energy to good use. Vow to work on healthier ways to cope when feeling stressed.
How to get your accountability on:
Share this resource with a friend
Pick a few strategies that resonate with both of you
Make a plan to call each other out when you stray
Give praise when you make positive changes
Start a Facebook group and post regular tips to decrease stress and anxiety
Anxiety Buster #17: Attend a Social Gathering (Even If You Don’t Want To)
If you’re prone to social anxiety, it’s important to make time for socialization. It’s cool to be an
introvert, but know that we live in a universe that revolves around connecting with others.
Anxiety Buster #18: Schedule a Physical Exam to Rule Out a Medical Condition for Your Anxiety
If your anxiety has spiked recently, or if you were previously able to cope with life, and now not so much, your doctor can determine if there’s a medical condition responsible for your anxiety. Ask for a blood panel, and be honest about your symptoms.
Anxiety Buster #19: Schedule a Visit with a Therapist
Nobody deserves to feel bad. A qualified mental
health professional is your best bet if your anxiety is unbearable.
Ask a trusted friend or colleague for a referral, or use the Psychology Today directory for a therapist in your area.
Anxiety Buster #20: Exercise, Exercise, Exercise!
Exercise is nature’s anti-anxiety remedy. Besides clearing the mind, firing up the endorphins, and helping you sleep soundly at night, researchers have found that individuals who exercise vigorously and regularly were 25 percent less likely to develop an anxiety disorder within five years.
Anxiety Buster #21: Accept Your Anxiety
Whether you inherited the “anxiety gene” from your parents, or your lifestyle, or both, accept your anxiety rather than fight it.
It’s not about rolling over and giving up. Understand you have to work hard every day to bring calm to your environment.
Remember there’s always options in life, and worse fates exist than being anxiety-sensitive. After all, when push comes to shove, at the end of the (stressed out) day, anxious people get the job done!
Anxiety Buster #22: Check Out These Free Online Resources
I’ve created a few relaxation audios for you. All resources are free, downloadable and portable.
Click this link.
The key to making the actions above work is consistency. You’re the expert on your life. Choose the ones that work best for you, and give ’em a shot.
See you on the calm side!
Written by Linda Esposito, LCSW, is a psychotherapist helping adults and teens overcome stress and anxiety.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anxiety-zen/201405/22-quick-tips-change-your-anxiety-forever

how to Cope With Not Knowing What Happened to a Missing Loved One


how to Cope With Not Knowing What Happened to a Missing Loved One
how to  Cope With Not Knowing What Happened to a Missing Loved One
One of the most heart-rending aspects of the West London Tower Block fire tragedy has been the plight of relatives and friends beside themselves with anxiety and worry over the fate of the missing.
Is trying to cope with uncertainty about the fate of a missing person the worst kind of grief?
Those directly involved with the Grenfell Tower catastrophe might suffer emotional repercussions long after their physical needs have been addressed by emergency efforts. This psychological distress might be neglected by the crisis services. Yet it is the mental impact which could, in the long run, be most disturbing.
This particularly dreadful predicament is referred to by experts as ambiguous loss, because it remains unclear what has definitively happened to the missing person, so the psychology of hope is naturally activated.
Hope becomes a two-edged sword, inspiring at times positive optimism and a desire to keep fighting on, but if or when hopefulness becomes dashed, perhaps even deeper despair follows. It is this turmoil of contrasting emotions, endlessly oscillating between hope and despair, which renders this kind of grieving particularly stressful, and may prevent ‘closure’ or finding mental peace.
Which is worse — to know definitively that a loved one has been killed, or to not know what happened; just that someone has gone missing?
A recent study — ‘Missing or Killed: The Differential Effect on Mental Health in Women in Bosnia and Herzegovina of the Confirmed or Unconfirmed Loss of their Husbands’ — investigated this precise question by comparing the impact on two groups of women living in Bosnia and Herzegovina — those whose husbands were either confirmed as having been killed during the 1992–1995 war, or who were, at the time of the study, officially still listed as ‘missing’ as a result of the war.
Researchers Steve Powell, Willi Butollo, and Maria Hagl found the group with unconfirmed losses had higher levels of traumatic grief, as well as severe depression.
The study, published in the journal European Psychologist, found that the unconfirmed loss of a family member produces more distress, compared with enduring a confirmed loss. The authors conclude that the particularly high levels of severe depression, including suicidal thinking, in this group was especially worrying.
Another recent study, entitled ‘When hope and grief intersect: Rates and risks of prolonged grief disorder among bereaved individuals and relatives of disappeared persons in Colombia,’ compared the bereaved with those who lost a significant other to disappearance, and found that the extent of hope in those dealing with a disappearance predicted ‘Prolonged Grief Disorder.’
Prolonged Grief Disorder is referred to by the authors of this study — Carina Heeke, Nadine Stammel, and Christine Knaevelsrud — as a grief reaction following loss, characterized by intense longing and yearning for the lost person combined with feelings of hopelessness and emptiness over a period of at least six months.
The study, published in the Journal of Affective Disorders, found that the more strongly people hope that their loved one is still alive, the greater the severity of Prolonged Grief Disorder symptoms.
Psychologists have attempted to study how to best counsel those in this predicament and some have argued against delivering ‘false hope.’ It may be that there is a balance to be struck between trying to counsel against unrealistic or unjustifiable levels of hopefulness, and crushing all hope.
While it may seem blindingly obvious what people are hoping for — the person being alive and well — this hope may evolve over time, for example, into praying that the missing person did not suffer.
The problem is that when there is hope, it leads to incessant dwelling on the missing person, interfering with daily life and leading to collapse in the long run.
We have become used to images of missing people collecting on street corners as signifying the hope of those searching for any news; this phenomenon seems to have first been studied as a coping mechanism following the 9/11 tragedy in New York City.
It may be that this is the kind of heartbreak where, uniquely, hope renders you worse.
But many psychologists contend that ambiguous loss is much more common than people realize. For example, when a loved one develops severe dementia, there is a sense in which they remain physically present, but have in a sense also gone missing, in terms of the person you once knew.
Viktor Frankl, the famous psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust, argued that there can be no meaning to our lives without hope, and no hope without meaning. Frankl lived and worked among those for whom there could surely be no hope: They had lost everything, and knew they were going to be killed. Yet he contended that it was possible to find meaning to our lives even in the face of the most brutal and inhuman catastrophe, as he himself had experienced at the hands of the Nazis.
The art of survival would appear to hinge on how to find new meaning and hope in life, according to Frankl, and this might mean having to say goodbye when you remain unconvinced that you can be certain what happened to your loved one. This sometimes feels like a betrayal.
With any ambiguous loss, you are the one who has to make the choice to finally say goodbye, whereas with every other kind bereavement, that decision is forced upon you.
But the fact the victim of ambiguous loss must have experienced love and attachment, for grief is the heavy price we pay for love, and is also perhaps something on which we can base our hope for the future, because that love made life worth it. The very reason for the despair is the foundation for hope for the future.
Written by Raj Persaud and Adrian Furnham
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/slightly-blighty/201706/coping-not-knowing-what-happened-missing-loved-one

How to identify people with perfectionist tendency


This article was written to help you identify people with perfectionist tendencies so that you can be able to adjust in your relationship with them
 How to identify people with perfectionist tendencies that are difficult to please
Nobody is perfect. This has become an over-flogged mantra. Notwithstanding, there are still some people who feel that everything they do must be 100% especially people with melancholy temperaments. One mistake that they make is that they think being a perfectionist is a good thing. Well although having perfectionist tendencies has its advantages but the downsides are many.
Its easy to identify them because they always want everything to be done perfectly their way, And if this is not the case, they become sad, depressed, and forlorn. Consequently, these very talented people are always having problems not only with themselves but with people around them because having perfectionist tendencies will always make you to be seeing the fault in others . Hence, it would be nice to know how to identify a person with a perfectionist tendency.
🤔
1.They are always trying to please everyone
Certainly, we cannot please everybody. But a perfectionist does not understand this. They will try to please others at their own discomfort and detriment. This is why others can easily take advantage of them.

2.people with perfectionist tendency attain their goals by any means
Attaining their goals is what they care about. They do not even mind if they break the rules or go overboard to reach their goals. For them it is more about the end justifies the means and not the other way round. And they are bad losers.

3.A perfectionist can be easily identified because They can never be satisfied
Even if you give your best, you can never satisfy someone who wants things perfectly done. They question everything even the things that are irrelevant. They are very exhaustive and nothing escapes them. Hence, never try to cut corners, a perfectionist will notice it and point it out.

4.This is one thing that i hate about people with perfectionist tendencies although i’m a little bit of a perfectionist myself. They don’t accommodate mistakes
We are bound to make mistakes. But for a perfectionist, it is a sign of failure. As a result, they become gloomy and downcast. If you work with them, they use their standard to measure you and they want you to meet that standard. If you do not, to them you are a disappointment. You will think they have you in mind before.

6.They have all Or nothing thinking
For them, it is either they get everything or nothing. They are not ready to compromise on their very high moral standards. This is why perfectionists are not good negotiators. The only way you can make them happy is to give them everything they want.

7.They over stress themselves over a simple task
There is always a paper basket beside them. In the basket, you will find several rumpled papers. These papers are sheets they use in writing just one simple report. However, because of one simple mistake, they discard it and start all over again.

8.They are legendary procrastinators
Since they bid to make everyone happy, they accept responsibilities they know they cannot perform. But because they want to please that person, they accept the duty and they procrastinate until they do not it. In other situations, they postpone a task because they are not ready to go through the perfection bouts they are addicted to.

9.They find it difficult to celebrate success
You should celebrate success when you achieve it. However, a perfectionist will never because they will be focused on what they could have done better. So, they do not see any reason to be joyous. Do never expect a perfectionist to celebrate success. However, this does not mean they are not happy with what they have achieved. I’m sure that will the knowledge you just gathered from this article you can easily identify a person with perfectionist tendencies so that you can be able to properly adapt to and relate with them.
This article was originally shared by Jumia travel agency JUMIA TRAVEL op nv

Why you can’t rely on will power alone in making new year resolutions and promises


   Why you can't rely on will power alone in making new year resolutions and promises
Have you ever made a new year resolution that you ended up breaking barely few days/weeks later? Well if it has never happened to your it has happened to me several times and that’s why I stopped bothering my self with all this new year resolution stuff.
In life its very easy to make promises but when it comes to keeping it you will discover that things are easier said than done. Most of the time we assume that everything depends on will power but most times willpower fails too because everything has its limits .
Here we are: a new year with a new set of New
Years resolutions.To follow through and turn
those resolutions into results, we’re usually
convinced that willpower is the essential
ingredient. But what if the reason we often fail
in our resolutions hinges less on willpower
and more on avoiding temptations right from
the start? That may sound straightforward,
but, as a new study suggests, it’s an
argument that challenges popular wisdom,
and should change how we think about setting
goals now or anytime of year.
Researchers tracked the lives of 159 college
students over the course of a week. Five times
every day a message was sent to the
participants’ smartphones asking them to
report if they were facing temptations, whether
the temptations conflicted with their goals,
and whether they had exercised willpower to
resist the temptations. They were also asked
to report how mentally depleted they were
feeling.
At the end of each day, the participants
completed a diary entry describing their
energy levels—from having a lot left in the
tank to being mentally exhausted. As a wrap-
up, the researchers interviewed the students at
the end of the semester to assess their
progress on four important goals they’d
identified at the start of the study.
The results showed that the participants who
spent the most time flexing their willpower via
self-control made less progress toward their
goals than those who experienced the fewest
temptations. And those who experienced the
most temptations, whether or not they tried
resisting them, reported feeling the most
mentally depleted during the day and drained
at night.
The results offer a few takeaways: (1) trying to
resist temptations via willpower is draining,
(2) simply facing temptations, whether or not
we resist them, is draining and (3) being
mentally drained from experiencing
temptations correlates directly with making
less progress. The key takeaway, then, isn’t to
engage temptation with force of will, but to
avoid temptations from the get-go or at least
minimize exposure whenever possible.
The study also assessed the individual
students’ self-control levels before things got
rolling—and there were of course differences—
but the researchers took those into account to
make sure they didn’t color the results.

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Quoting the researchers: “Against popular and
scientific wisdom, effortful self-control did not
appear to play a role in goal-pursuit,
suggesting that the immediate positive
consequences of exerting willpower do not
translate into long-term goal success.”
As simple as this sounds, it runs counter to
the cult of willpower that dominates thinking
on reaching goals. We tend to think that
overcoming temptation is all about self-
control, as if self-control, wielded with enough
force of will, can overcome any temptation.
Disproving that argument is as easy as
walking into a grocery store hungry.
Beyond our typical self-control challenges,
we’re also increasingly facing the challenge of
managing our attention. Focusing is hard
under the best conditions, but trying to focus
with a smartphone nearby, a web browser
open, a television blaring—all of the above
and more—is plainly insane. And yet some
flavor of that distraction stew is what we’re
operating in every day. What this and similar
studies suggest is that our self-sabotage
begins well before we try fending off
distractions with self-control. Just as it’s a
bad idea to walk into a grocery store hungry,
it’s folly to think you’ll focus with tempting
digital distractions playing for your attention.
That said, it’s a little ironic that the data
gathering method used in this study was
pinging the students’ smartphones. But the
point remains: every ping, alert, message,
whatever, is a tiny temptation, and collectively
they’re a big one. We can’t change that now
baked-in fact of life, but we can—and really,
we have to—develop better ways of managing
it.
So the best thing to do is to eliminate distractions instead of deceiving yourself by living in the midst of your weaknesses while relying on your will power which can fail you. E.g If you are a smoker and your new year resolution or promise is to stop smoking, please avoid friends and environments that entice you into smoking insteading of going to the club where everyone is smoking hoping that some – how your will power can come to your rescue. Happy new year friends
Psychologytoday

Top 12 IMPORTANT LIFE LESSONS


  Very important life lessons
One of the important life lesson
1. Deferring your happiness to the future is a
terrible idea
Too many people presume that when they
have that one thing they can work towards for
years then “everything will be alright”.
This is delusional.
When you get it, there’ll be something else
missing in your life. I fundamentally believe
that long-term pure happiness from one
particular situation or achievement is a pipe-
dream, but we can learn to be content with
what we have, live in the now, all while
enjoying the progress and changes we are
making.
If your whole life is working up towards one
really big major goal that you hold on to for
years, then you will have a major anticlimax
after the dust settles. Work towards it, but
stop deferring your happiness. Take this lesson seriously.
2. Living a good life is the best way possible
to convince people:
Enough words and enough arguing. This is very important because like they say action speaks louder than voice. Just live
by example and soon you’ll have people on
your side when they see your results and how
passionate you are. No need to “convince”
them. Just show them that you are there, tell
them how you got there, and they will start to
realise that maybe you aren’t that crazy after all. They will learn their lesson and adjust accordingly.
3. Nobody has it all figured out. This is one of the important LESSONS life has thought me. Everyone has a problem nomatter how much they try to cover it, this fact has helped to drive home the african proverb which says that the ” he goat sweats but it furs prevents others from seeing it” dont be deceived by the fake smiles and show that almost everyone displays. Dont be deceived by the fake life of most celebrities, dont compare your life to their own because everyone has where the shoe is pinching them.
Nobody has it all figured out
Almost everyone has problems and puts on a
brave face – don’t presume they have it easy.
You see of each person what they let you see.
You have no idea what they are going through
or what they had to put up with to be in a
situation that you can consider “easy”.
This is universal – millionaires, students, the
cool kid, the party animal, the introvert and
everyone in between has more to their story
than the superficial restricted one you see.
Never dismiss them as having it easy if you
don’t know the entire story. Very important!
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GIRL LEARNT FROM breaking UP WITH
HER EX

4. I wonder why most people especially will rather lie than admit that they dont know somethings in life. They is nothing to be ashamed of because no one know it all in life. If you dont know something you should admit it, feel free to ask for help because according to an important african proverb “a traveller that asks questions never misses his destination.
There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know”
There is a stigma in some cultures to admit
ignorance about a particular topic. Don’t
dance around the issue – just say I don’t
know. Honesty is way smarter.
  important things that teacch us painful  lessons in life making us wise.  Foolish money
5. More money will NEVER solve your
problems
As long as you are not living in the street or
going hungry, then you do not “need” more
money. When you spend enough time with
people who are actually living on next to
nothing, but having a full life, then you will
truly understand this. Everything that is
wonderful about life doesn’t cost a penny, and
the rest is way cheaper than you think it is.
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LEARNT FROM A 500 NAIRA NOTE

 lessons in life that are very important
6. The sixth important life lesson applies to everyone in the information age.
The Internet is the greatest tool ever
available to us, but daily use must be capped
Unlike TVs, the Internet is interactive and
allows you to take part and become virtually
social. It connects communities all over the
world and without it, the last many years
simply would have been much more difficult
for me for many reasons.
Having said that, it has the same potential as
TV to become a black hole of time. Use it to
enrich your life, but put a cap on how much
you use it so you can get out and live that
life. Replacing one screen with another (even
when you use it to chat to people) is just
escaping the real world, which is much more
beautiful.
7. Man’s demands can be insatiable so its very important that you keep it at the back of your mind.
You can’t please everyone
State your opinion and stick to your guns.
Trying to please everyone is a fool’s errand. If
you are confident enough and share your idea
with enough people, you will piss off someone
no matter what you talk about. That’s their
problem, not yours.
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8. Trying to be cool or following trends is for
mindless sheep
Peer pressure is for people who are afraid of
their individuality in life. You are unique. Stand up for yourself, and
go against the flow if that’s what you feel is
best. What’s cool now will be frozen over in a
few years.
9. I wonder why people find it difficult to say this magic words “i’m SORRY” . C’mon its very important that you learn how to make use of it. Swallow your pride and apologise
Never hold a grudge and never try to win every
argument. Sometimes it’s best to let your
pride slide for the sake of clearing the air with
someone. Be the first to say you’re sorry.
Never wait for the other person to make the
first move.
 12 THINGS THAT IS IMPORTANT AND NECESARY FOR US TO LEARN IN LIFE
10. Doing anything specifically to impress
people is stupid: Now this is a very important life lesson.
People will never give you the validation you
seek if you try to be a dancing monkey for
them. Saying how many languages you speak,
how rich you are, who you know, where you
studied or what you do for a living, or trying
to show-off in any other way to get someone
to like you, or working for these things just for
the bragging rights will leave you really
disappointed.
People are impressed by those who aren’t
trying to impress them and are comfortable in
themselves and social and interesting.
Sometimes to be “interesting” all you have to
do is be a good listener.
  important things that teacch us painful  lessons in life making us wise.  Foolish money
11. Love isn’t “all” you need, but if you don’t
have it in some form, your life will be very
empty
We don’t need love to survive, but without it
there will be a huge hole inside you. Make
sure that every day you have someone (family,
friends, lover) to remind you that you are
special. In Life If you postpone this part of your life
until later , after you get or do that thing you
want to do, you will continue in that lonely
path indefinitely.
View also : how to use fear to your own advantage
12. The last life lesson in this list :
You don’t know what you’ve got ’till its
gone
Don’t take anything for granted.
The most valuable lessons in life can never
be expressed in black and white, but must be
experienced.
You don’t know what you’ve got ’till its
gone
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